Tuesday, February 2, 2010

Owing It All To Maturity

Last night a good friend of mine went on our usual run around the park. I couldn't go to the gym anymore so i decided (to compensate for lack of exercise) to jog in the park near work. I'm starting to get hooked to it. I can't last a week without running 3-4 times. The feeling after working out a sweat, is just absolutely amazing! Plus, since I got this weird breathing problem (which I just recently got), the running helps ease the breathing. I'm scared that if I stop running altogether, the breathing problem might get worse...yikes!

But the real kicker is that I get to spend about an hour or so with a really good friend! :)

After the run we had a good talk over dinner. We haven't jogged together in a while due to conflicting schedules, and so last night was jog night/catching up night. And since we were right smack in the middle of Salcedo Village, 9pm felt like 11pm. It was sooo quiet. And the mood soo relaxing. We ate dinner at Joey Pepperoni, and we both loved it because it was in a small corner, and just talked about life. About maturity.

We're both having work-related dilemmas. She's always told me she had problems with her co-workers. And based on her stories, they are the people you'd love to hate. They just seem so superficial and shallow. I've told her before not to mind them and just get on with her work. Which she's been doing and loving at the same time. She's doing what she loves to do, and so the people are the least bit of her problems!

Same problem with me. After almost 3 months in the new environment, I still haven't found my place just yet. I guess I'm autistic in that way. Change comes hard for me. I miss the old times when I felt that I was a part of a whole. I've shared this in my blog like a week back, so maybe expounding on it may come as redundant. But I still feel the sadness, and I guess it will still be there until God knows when. I am however allowing myself to just let the days pass.

And this, lead us both to our conversation on maturity. Looking at our problems, you'd just say it's petty. Maybe it is, but it can affect your entire day. Imagine being stuck in a rut in just one place, there's nothing else to think about or notice. Nothing else to keep your mind off it. So me and my friend just owed it all to maturity. We're not 18 anymore. We don't have the luxury to waste time. I'm turning 25 this year, my friend, 24. We need to think about our future. And so now, when we heave ourselves to work, all we think about is, "thank God we have a good job!" or "thank God I'm in a really good company!". Looking at it that way has helped me through the early days of 2010. I've been telling myself this to help me get to work. To enjoy it, kahit papaano. It's just soooooo easy to just up and leave and go back to the things I'm accustomed to.

My Mom was telling me the other day to change my attitude. Believe you me! Every waking day, I drill in this brain of mine that I got a good job in a better company. It's like my ala-The Secret thing. It's what gets me out of bed, put on decent clothes, and drive to work. The people you come in contact with are just secondary. The WORK and HOW you do it, is what TRULY matters. And every time a project comes my way, I open my mind to the thought that this is another bullet to my ever expanding arsenal. I gotta open my mind to a new aspect of writing. I gotta broaden my horizon. And I didn't lose much because I am still doing my first love - feature writing. So I guess I'm in a win-win situation.

If you read this you'd ask if I was just doing this to convince myself...YES! I am writing this to convince myself in staying here, because seriously I have not fully convinced myself just yet hahaha! As I said I have to be mature about this. I gotta forget about the superficial stuff, and focus on the necessary things. It's easy to give up and proclaim, "Fuck Maturity" to high heavens. But I'm choosing to push myself more.

I'm gonna treat this like running. At first you'd all be huffing and puffing after 2 or 3 rounds, giving up is soooo an option. But the more you run, and it becomes a habit, endurance kicks in. And sooner or later, you'll see yourself running 10 straight rounds without stopping. Your body would start looking for the rush when you don't go. Right now, I am waiting for that time when I can just run, run, run, and run, and not get tired and feel like my lungs would explode any minute.

And I know that time will come, maybe not in a week or in a month. With a bit more pushing, it will come. It will, because my so-called maturity paid off! :)

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